‘I am rubbish with emojis. Was that a heart or a chicken?’
‘When did you start listening to Tom Jones?’
‘He’s patching up roofs, but he should be patching up his pants.’
‘Why are you stroking my ankle?’
‘We’d never met the guy, but we knew what his dick looked like. It was a bit awkward.’
‘I’ve never been on a two-digit bus before.’
‘I wish I could shit in the woods like a labrador.’
‘Why are you on a rocking horse? And why are you dressed like a cowgirl?’
‘I’m not talking about Elton John in the 1980s, I’m talking about Elton John in the bloody 2000s!’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – tweet us yours using #wordonthestreet and @timeoutlondon
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